Repeat after me... (HJ)

I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get fit.

I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get fit.

I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get fit.

No, it's not working for me either.

I am getting fitter. I'm now at my desired number of minutes of exercise (although the ride my bike to morning prayer count is down for this week due to some beautiful inclement weather we've been having).

And I am not dying as I get up those stairs for the 20th time, although it seems close sometimes.

But I didn't want to fixate on losing weight (which wasn't happening anyway), so I decided to weigh in once a month because there might be a change.

Or not.

80.1kg. I think I was about 80.4 before Christmas.

So it's a pretty good thing that I'm feeling fitter, and not worrying about how much I weigh, isn't it?

I am dumb (but fit!) HJ

Monday. Turn up the exercise!

Now doing 18 times up & down the stairs, added the next two repetitions.

Didn't die.

That was good.

Added an extra single minute of fast time to rowing, making it up to 29 minutes total.

I wasn't dead even yet.

Rode my bike into a headwind to town, only to find that morning prayer wasn't on because all the Anglican clergy are at summer school this week. They had discussed it in my hearing at least twice last week and I failed to connect "Clergy Summer School next week" with "we'll all be away so there will be no morning prayer".

Of course, this means I didn't get my 30 minute sit down for the actual praying part of morning prayer.

So I rode home again, surprisingly against a headwind. Surprising, that is, until I realised that a south easterly wind will be against you for parts of both ways to and from town when town is to the north east of your residence.

I am getting stronger.

But maybe the oxygen deprivation from all this exercise is slowing my brain down.

This exercise might, just might, be making some difference (HJ)

It's Monday. That's the day to up the challenge in the exercise.

So I'm now doing 16 times up and down the stairs. That's 256 individual steps each way (albeit changing between up and down every 16 repetitions). I've decided I'm going to make it to 20 times, then start pushing the time frame required, and maybe add some weight. 2 kg of flour in my back-pack?

I've also upped the rowing by adding 3 mins of as fast as I can: 2 mins fast, then normal 5 mins, then 1 min fast again. This leaves me with 28 mins total. I don't have time to look at more than 30 mins, so once I hit that I'll just have to increase the fast mins and/or resistance. I will only do the longer row (i.e. more than 20 mins) on days when I'm doing a short bike ride. It keeps it interesting to mix it up a bit.

I made 1050 repetitions this morning. That's impressive to me - into 4 figures!

Not riding my bike for a week between Christmas and New Year has really impacted on my bike-fitness. I'm struggling with the normal 2km, and haven't even considered the longer one last week. (Then again, it could be the heat. Or the fact that I'm doing extra other exercise in the mornings before I go, so I'm tired already before I start.)

I've also been walking the dog a few afternoons in the week. It isn't for fitness, more for fresh air and dog-time and mind-relaxing. It also gets my walking muscles going, so that although the pace I go is no-where near fast enough to keep up with my Mum* it will mean I actually can walk when we go overseas.

So I guess I'm doing stairs, at least 20 mins rowing, and 4 km on the bike about 4 mornings a week. It's got to be doing something, right?

*Yes. The same Mum as was attacked by a dog and hasn't yet regained pain-free mobility. The same Mum who is more than 20 years older than I am. Sad, isn't it?

A matter of timing (Emily Sue)

Having spent weeks alternating between doing workout DVDs and walking on my treadmill, I have decided that I would rather walk outside while the weather is still nice. This is Melbourne, after all, and it's going to start getting cold a lot sooner than I would like. Might as well get outside while I still can.

I have mapped out a little 6km walk and have been doing that early every morning. "Early" means I usually start at about 5.50am. Never in my life would I have imagined I'd be doing such a thing. We're on daylight saving time here so the sun's not up some days and it's barely even light. I usually walk out my front door thinking, "Really? This is what I do now?" ;)

It's a walk with a few small hills - two are a short, sharp incline and two are a long, steady incline - and the rest is mostly flat. I usually do the walk in 70 minutes, meaning my average speed is (obviously) just under 6km/h. In the past few days I've been working on getting my time down - goal is to do the walk in 60 minutes or less, so I know my average speed is 6km/h or faster. Yesterday I managed to get it down to 67 minutes, which was the first time I'd been under 70 minutes. Yay! And today... today I did it in 63 minutes. How did I manage such a feat? Partly by walking faster, and partly by jogging bits of it.* Jogging. IN PUBLIC. (My route is mostly along main roads.) Believe me, this is NOT like me at all. I am not what you'd call a natural athlete, and certainly not a natural runner. I look awkward, I'm in constant danger of tripping over, everything wobbles all over the place and I start puffing and turn tomato-red in a matter of seconds. Which might be okay, except that I happen to have a very round face - so I'm not just red; I look like I ACTUALLY have a tomato for a head.

Kind of like this, only with less smiling and more grimacing.

So you see, I don't exercise in public. That's part of the reason I bought a treadmill, so I could turn red and work on my cardiac arrest in the privacy of my own home. And yet, there I was this morning. Huffing, puffing, wobbling and turning red while cars drove by. No one stopped to render medical assistance, so it's possible I didn't look as bad as I thought. And when I got home I felt great. My body is getting stronger and my attitude to helping it get stronger is changing too. That's a win, in my book.

* By "bits of it" I mean I jogged in 30-60 second bursts, 4-5 times. At my current fitness level that's roughly equivalent to a half-marathon.
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Exercise Conundrum (HJ)

So I'm not trying to lose weight, really (although it would be nice). I want to get fit.

The problem being that if your goal is to lose a few kg it is easy to see if you're succeeding or not. If you want to get fitter, how do you really know if you're getting to your goal?

You see, as each thing you've been doing gets easier, the only way to get more fit is to do more. When your goal is to be able to work for some hours on an archaeological dig, or walk up Mt Nebo or whatever, how do you actually know if you're on track?

So all I can do is do more and more exercise and get fitter and fitter, but eventually you run out of time that is able to be devoted to exercise (which, let's face it isn't a whole lot of time because there's heaps of other things that I need to be doing - Biggest Loser this ain't).

So I really need to get some goals for precisely fit do I want to be?

Suggestions (not all at the same time, mind you):

30 mins rowing

30 mins bike ride

20 times up and down the steps.

The thing is, I'm well on the way to these goals. And the additional medium paced 20 min walk with the LBD doesn't really add all that much to my conditioning.

But does being able to do any of these really help me to shovel dirt, be on my hands and knees scraping away at stuff, or walking for miles around ancient sites?

I need to get me some goals. More hills in the bike ride? Up the resistance on the rowing machine? Carry stuff up and down the stairs?

PS. I've decided that I'm not going to weigh-in until the end of the month. There's been no change much since I recommenced this fitness kick a couple of months ago. I think I've lost about 1.2kg in about 3 months. So hopefully a month apart may make any difference a bit more noticeable. We'll see.

Enough? (HJ)

I've been thinking yesterday and the day before that that I really need to add some challenges to my exercise routine. If I'm going to enjoy my time overseas, I need to be fit. And getting fit requires that the degree of difficulty is slowly increasing (time, or weight, etc).

So today...

Today I got up and did the steps 10 times, rather than the 8 that I have been doing. That's 160 steps up and 160 steps down. I WILL be able to get to obscure places overseas that require my body to cope with elevation.

Backed that up with 20mins rowing. Rowing is my core/arms exercise that also gets a little cardio-vascular on the side. It is my standard exercise that I really need to do to discharge my responsibility to myself to try to get/keep fit. I haven't rowed this week, so it was amazing that I managed it well, and I decided that with the extra steps and riding down to morning prayer I'd leave it at that. (Besides, Emily Sue said that 20 mins is her minimum and anything else is bonus. If it's good enough for Emily Sue...)

Then I decided that I'd cycle the long way down to morning prayer. I've been doing that a few times this week instead of rowing. It's about 20 mins instead of under 10. I should work out the distance.* About three blocks into the alternative route the chain fell off my bike, so I had to abort and head for the local Anglican church to be on time.

Then after prayer I thought, "Why the heck can't I do my extra circuit on the way HOME? After all, technically it's a holiday day for me today and I don't need to BE anywhere."

So I did.

On the way home I also did the few extra blocks to get to the little butcher that I patronise to pick up our Christmas ham. Thankfully it's pretty much flattish and downhill from there.

This afternoon I had to make the trip to Mum & Dad's, so being a lovely overcast, cool day I decided to take the bike. After coasting down the lovely hill from our place I had to start going back up the hill to their place and my legs decided that they weren't exactly fresh. I made it, though.

On the way back (which is mostly downhill until you have to go up our killer hill again) I think I nearly died. I think the pump that is my heart was really running out of juice.

I don't think I need to walk the dog this afternoon. Do you?

*The actual distance of my long, loopy way is 6.2km, the short way is 2km home again from there. Of course, the long, loopy way was selected primarily on the basis of the fact that because it follows the river most of the way it is pretty flat. I LIKE flat. But I would have done at least an extra 1 - 1.5 km in my aborted initial attempt and the detour to the butcher. It is not unreasonable to assume I did 10 km on the bike this morning, then another 4km this arvo.

Nothing to see here, people (HJ)

So a few weeks later and I'm doing 20 mins on the rowing machine, and still riding my bike about three times in the week (although the rainy days have pulled that count down this week), and I'm now at the end of my week of doing the steps 8 times.

I did actually have a second bike ride one day last week, and I did not die.

But still no change in the weight stakes. (still wobbling around the horrible round number I don't want to think about)

What do you mean I've got to make some better food choices?

Going Down (HJ)

I made it to just under the horrible number I don't want to think about, much less talk about. (Like 0.1kg under, but hey...)

I've increased my rowing to 15 minutes about 4 times a week because I think it's time for a challenge.

I'm not having to put my bike down to first gear for the long slog up the hill from town anymore, and I've been doing about three trips into town each week. I'm not up to much more distance than that (2km) or for that matter riding to two things in the one day. But it's a start.

But last week my challenge was to go up and down the stairs 5 times 3-4 times a week. Different muscle set and for me going up has always been really hard work. It occurs to me that if I want to get to the monastery at Meteora or to the top of Mt Nebo to see where Moses got to watch the Israelites cross the Jordan in June/July this year I will need to improve my ability to go up. Or at least, I will enjoy the trip more if I do.

So, the plan is to be able to go up & down the internal stairs 20 times in a row. This week I've increased it to 6 times and I'm surprised I'm not dead. Or having weird heart-y things.

So I must be getting fitter, right?

Give or Take (HJ)

I haven't been really keen to post.

This might be because as of the end of semester I'd almost beaten my best weight ever (if I was a cow heading for the sale yards, that is). I didn't want to talk about it.

But it does give one a certain amount of motivation when they look in the mirror in some of their clothes and realise that the pregnancy rumours are going to be up and running again (if they aren't already) if one doesn't DO SOMETHING.

So I'm trying to get more active. I like food. I like lots of it, and some of the lots I like is not necessarily healthy.

So I will begrudgingly exercise in order to be able to eat moderate amounts of whatever the heck I want. Yes, I will continue to have healthy breakfast. No, I don't need a huge amount of lunch. Yes, I will try to have fruit and/or yoghurt for dessert.

But there will be occasional cakey-things. Or hot chips. or ice-cream. Or cheesecake.

I've been doing 10 mins rowing most mornings (oh, how the mighty have fallen), and I rode my bike three times this week to things I would normally take the car for.

I have been Zumba DVDing a couple of times when I have time, too.

I was walking the LBD a few times a week, but the bike riding is leaving me pretty worn out, so I've been slack this week.

Anyway, apart from the fact that I didn't write down the number representing the zenith of my weight-gain, it appears that in the last two weeks I've lost a kilo. Give or Take. Possibly as much as 1.3.

But then, one of the nannas at mainly music asked me if I'd lost some weight. I didn't really think one kg would make that much difference.

Maybe I'm building muscle!

My body can do stuff (ES)

So I've been pretty consistent with exercising every morning. I miss a few days here and there but I'd say I average at least 5 days per week (at the unholy time of about 5.45am). I don't appear to have lost any weight although I'm not 100% sure my scales are accurate. Yesterday I did the get-off-get-on-again thing and somehow gained a whole kilo. Did it again and gained another 500g. Kept doing it out of curiosity and managed to lose all that "weight" again in small increments over 5 minutes or so. Very strange, and it's the only time the scales have ever done that. I tested it again this morning and it was completely consistent, but of course now I don't know if the consistent weight it showed me is my ACTUAL weight. I think I might go with measurements instead.

A few months ago I finally got my act together and saw a podiatrist, who expressed great horror at a number of problems with my feet and ankles. She prescribed orthotics, which I have been wearing and noticing the difference. The pain in the side of my knee, which had been waking me up at night, has pretty much gone. I thought this all boded well, so a few weeks ago when on the treadmill I increased the speed to a jog. Not a good idea, as it turns out - I was limping within five steps because I had shooting pain in my knee, in a different spot from the previous pain. This is not unexpected because my knees and ankles are still getting used to behaving like normal knees and ankles instead of wobbling all over the place. Still, disappointing.

Earlier this week I decided to give jogging a go again, to see if the knee has improved. To my delight, I managed half a minute of jogging without pain. I've been testing it out each day, doing bursts of 1-2 minutes of jogging. And it's been fine, but the really great thing is that I am able to jog at a much higher speed than I've ever been able to do previously. When I was doing C25K before I usually jogged at a very shuffly and slow 6.5kmh, reducing to 6kmh when I got tired. I walked at 5-5.5kmh. Now I am walking at 6-6.5kmh and jogging at 7.5-8kmh. This is HUGE for me. I think I have jogged at 7.5kmh just once before, and I managed maybe 30 seconds. Now I'm doing 2 minutes at 8kmh and I'm still feeling okay when I finish. I cannot tell you how thrilled I am about this. I said in a previous blog entry that I'm concentrating on health and strength... and I think it's working. I am actually feeling fitter and stronger. How great is that??

Health and Strength (Emily Sue)

I have no idea what I weighed last time, but today I weigh 72.8kg, which is down a bit. And that's good, but I've had a bit of a brain-shift about how I'm handling this.

I have spent most of my life with body image issues and related disordered eating. I feel like I've been following diets and food rules my whole life, and I'm always feeling guilty about eating 'bad' foods or not exercising enough. (How much is "enough" anyway?) So I must ask myself... is that any way to live? I'm thinking NO.

It occurred to me recently that having a weight loss goal is not helping me. By that I mean, having weight loss as my ENTIRE goal. It means that every time I exercise, I see it as a means to lose weight. When I eat something 'healthy', it's to lose weight. When I deny myself something 'bad', it's to lose weight. This is probably not news to anyone, but that is not actually enjoyable. Further, once I lose weight I know I will stop exercising, stop eating healthy food and go back to the 'bad' foods. Even calling them BAD foods is so unhelpful. Food is not good or bad; it's just food.

So my goal has changed. I'm still counting calories and staying within a specified amount that will help me lose weight sensibly, but weight loss is not my ultimate goal. I am aiming to be healthy and strong. God gave me a body that works well (knees and eyesight not withstanding) and it is a JOY to be strong enough to do things like walk to the shops instead of drive, or walk up a big hill because there's a fantastic view at the top. It's a joy to be able to pick up my podgy cats (they're pretty heavy). It's a joy to know my body is capable of doing 50 minutes on the treadmill - I certainly wasn't capable of that a year ago, and now I feel strong when I finish.

Having this little mind-shift has been incredibly helpful. I've just discovered green smoothies (basically it's a mix of 60% fruit - whatever you like - and 40% green leafy vegetables like spinach, kale or chard, plus a cup or two of water, blend until smooth and drink) and I'm loving them - not because they are a 'weight loss' food, but because they taste great and I honestly feel fantastic when I start the day with one. I know they sound horrible, but they are soooo good. And you can't taste the spinach. This morning's smoothie had apple, orange, pineapple, banana, almond meal (for protein) and spinach. It was delicious.

I've had the same mind shift with exercise. So this morning when I was doing a workout from a DVD I wasn't thinking, "Keep going, you need to lose weight"; I was thinking, "Hey, I can do this one a bit more easily now. I must be getting stronger. Awesome!"

This doesn't mean I leap out of bed every morning all excited about exercise and healthy eating. I still have to employ the 'don't negotiate with terrorists' method to get me out of bed. I still eat chocolate and chips and other things, and sometimes I still have a total calorie blowout. But I am no longer punishing myself, and I'm no longer obsessed with the NEED to lose weight. I'm concentrating on health and strength and if it leads to weight loss, that's great. If it doesn't, I'm still going to rejoice in the things my body can do, and in how healthy I feel.
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Exercise Terrorism (Emily Sue)

I can't even remember when I last posted... I know it was after a brief burst of enthusiasm. :) I think I'm about 300g lighter than then. But that's not what I want to share today.

I read a lot of blogs, and today there was a great post on Mia Freedman's blog about exercise. The link is here but I'll quote my favourite part for you. It's longish, but worth reading. (She's quoting a conversation with Michelle Bridges, one of the Biggest Loser trainers.) 

Like the rest of us, Michelle doesn’t adore exercise when she’s doing it and she doesn’t particularly look forward to it. And it’s this myth – that we should LOVE exercise and be inspired to do it – that so many of us use as an excuse not to.

Michelle says she’s asked about motivation all the time because people assume she is a motivation machine. But she’s not. “I don’t wake up, pump my fist in the air and go ‘YES! I’M GOING RUNNING! RUNNING! YESSSSSSS!’” she insists. Just like she doesn’t wake up and go “YES! I’M HAVING A SHOWER AND BRUSHING MY TEETH.”  Or “YES! I HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT!” It’s just what she does.

If you wait for motivation to magically appear? You’ll still be sprawled on your couch watching The Real Housewives in a decade. The clouds do not part. Inspiration does not strike. You will probably never be overcome by the urge to exercise. You. Just. Do. It.

Accidentally, I’ve taken this approach to exercise for a long time. It’s also known as the Don’t-Negotiate-With-Terrorists method if by ‘terrorists’ you mean the self-sabotaging parts of yourself that would prefer to sleep-in or go for drinks after work instead of moving vigorously until parts of your body hurt and get sweaty.

I don’t negotiate with myself about exercise. Ever. I’ve done the same thing for years. And years and years. Exercise is one of the most boring and predictable things in my life but also one of the most important. Without it, I’m Moody McBitchface. The way I sidestep the need for motivation is to remove as many variables as possible – I exercise indoors so weather doesn’t matter. I exercise alone so I’m not relying on anyone. I don’t have a trainer or do classes so it’s not budget dependent. I always exercise in the morning and always on cardio machines. The morning part is crucial. It means I don’t spend the day having those exhausting debates in my head about whether I will or won’t do it after work. Exercising in the morning is as much a part of my routine as getting dressed.

I just love the "Don't Negotiate With Terrorists" method. It's my new mantra... because those 'terrorist' thoughts get me all the time. "Oh, I can't be bothered. I have insomnia so I should sleep when I can. I will do it tonight. I'll be late for work. I'll go for a walk at lunchtime. I don't have any sports bras clean." You name the excuse, I've probably made it.

This afternoon I desperately wanted a nap. Daylight saving started this morning so I lost an hour of sleep and my body was protesting. I was on my computer and I was almost nodding off as I typed. I was soooo tempted to sleep... but I thought, "No. Don't negotiate with terrorists." I pulled on some exercise gear, put in a workout DVD and did that for 40 minutes. Then, feeling still inspired, I put on a Star Trek DVD and walked on the treadmill for an hour while it played. ONE HOUR. I walked 5.5km and I felt great at the end. Of course, I don't expect to do that amount of exercise every day but I hope to do SOME.

Don't Negotiate With Terrorists.

I love it.
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So I might need to get back into Skinny Cow.

I've put on a little weight again. Too much on, and not pleasant walking weather. I was up early enough today to do 5 mins rowing (I'd not start with any more than that - asking to be stiff and sore), so I was in a pretty good mood, although on dressing in my Hospital Pastoral Care shirt I realised that the bottom button was... snug.

So I was visiting through the wards when one little old lady (who may have some dementia, given later conversation), asked me an an oddly childlike tone, "Is there a little baby in your tummy?".

I narrowly avoided Givinya's best back answer ever, "No, I'm just fat", tossing it off with the phrase, "No, I might have had a bit much chocolate".

Then I got the following warning, "Too much chocolate is not good for you. My friend had diabetes... and she's no longer with us."

So there you are. I'm fat AND going to die.

Good times!

I'm Baa-aack! (HJ)

Well, you probably don't need to know all the ups and downs that have happened since the 14 January. I've just noticed that I don't have too many posts in between then and now. So, drumroll, please.....

Weight: 14 Jan 76kg - that was a goal. Then I totally lost the plot and have bounced lots. I was back to 76.2kg last week, but didn't report here
Today 75.6kg
Δ 400g LOSS (600g in a week)
Total Δ 5.4kg

Waist:
14 Jan 93cm
Today 94.5cm
Δ 1.5cm gain
Total Δ 4.5cm

And I have walked a couple of times this week, and this morning did 5 minutes rowing. I've been too tired to contemplate exercise of any kind for a couple of months. I'm starting again slowly and will see what happens. Here's to finding some time to exercise!

Ouch (Emily Sue)

It occurred to me today, as I stood up after a lengthy period of sitting and slowly limped my way across the room, that I have been limping for some time. Like... maybe six months. How is it possible that I can have been limping for so long? I've just become used to it, I think.

No, it's not the ankle I injured over a year ago (although it's the same leg); it's my knee. When I squat, or sit for too long, or stretch my leg, the back of my leg hurts behind the knee. As though I've torn a muscle, although I don't think that's it. And when I walk I get that pain as well as pain in the front of my knee. These may well be two unrelated pains. I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about it, this possibly explains why I have been reluctant to exercise. Walking makes it worse. Running makes it much worse.

Anyway, I now have an appointment to see my doctor, although of course I couldn't get an appointment for nearly two weeks. She's very popular and only works two days per week... therefore she's not the kind of doctor you can see when you're actually sick.

So what I'm saying is, don't expect an exercise update for a while. Weight updates may happen, but only if I'm feeling good about my weight. Yes, I'm really that fickle.

Exercise! Finally.... (ES)

6km / 67 minutes on the treadmill. Walking at a variable speed between 4.5kmh and 6kmh (mostly at 5.5kmh).

Feeling good because this is the first bit of deliberate exercise, other than a gentle walk outside every now and then, in about two months. I sweated and everything. Speaking of which... I think I'll go have a shower now.

Still exercising (Emily Sue)

I didn't weigh in on Saturday because I was bloated, hormonal and grumpy. I have, however, started to get back into regular exercise. My Wii Fit assures me it's happy to see me back. It wouldn't lie, would it??

I have been pleased to see that even after a three week break from exercising I haven't lost too much fitness. Although I'm not as fit as I was a month ago, I am noticably more fit than I was SIX months ago. And that's a very good thing indeed.

I am so close to my 10% weight loss goal (ie, losing 10% of my starting weight) that I can almost taste it. I am trying really hard to get there this week, but I won't be devastated if I don't. I'll get there eventually.
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Back on the treadmill (Emily Sue)

Owwwwww.

Yeah. It's been a little too long, apparently. I did 30 minutes tonight - about half walking and half jogging. Definitely a lot harder than it used to be. I stretched afterwards but I'm feeling it in my legs right now.

I'm also trying to get back in the habit of getting up at 5.30am to exercise. I was doing really well for a while there and then... I wasn't. At the moment I seem to be great at setting my alarm and then getting up when it goes off to reset it for a more human hour. Well, it's a start. ;)

Weigh in (Emily Sue)

The last three Saturdays have been non-WW weeks for me... I was interstate for one and the other two were public holidays. The last three WEEKS have been characterised by a complete lack of interest in exercise and watching what I eat. Hm. Back on track now, though. I even exercised this morning.

Last time: 69.7kg
Today: 69.9kg
Difference: 200g gain
Running total: 7.1kg loss

I'm actually pretty stoked with that. Given the last three weeks, it could have been a LOT worse. The woman who weighed me said, "Hey, congratulations! You only gained 200g - that's excellent!" I presume from that, and from the conversations I had with people at the meeting, that many of us put on weight over Christmas. There were also about 12 new members who joined today... I'm guessing there were some New Year's Resolutions. :)

Onward and upward....

Not a weigh in (Emily Sue)

I have been weighing myself sporadically over the last couple of weeks. It's been up and down but I think overall I've been holding mostly steady... maybe up a couple of hundred grams. My next weigh in is a week from now so I do need to reintroduce myself to exercise between now and then if I want to see a loss. Sigh. Blobbing around has been great but sadly I can't maintain it forever without consequences.

Sucks, huh?