Ouch (Emily Sue)

It occurred to me today, as I stood up after a lengthy period of sitting and slowly limped my way across the room, that I have been limping for some time. Like... maybe six months. How is it possible that I can have been limping for so long? I've just become used to it, I think.

No, it's not the ankle I injured over a year ago (although it's the same leg); it's my knee. When I squat, or sit for too long, or stretch my leg, the back of my leg hurts behind the knee. As though I've torn a muscle, although I don't think that's it. And when I walk I get that pain as well as pain in the front of my knee. These may well be two unrelated pains. I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about it, this possibly explains why I have been reluctant to exercise. Walking makes it worse. Running makes it much worse.

Anyway, I now have an appointment to see my doctor, although of course I couldn't get an appointment for nearly two weeks. She's very popular and only works two days per week... therefore she's not the kind of doctor you can see when you're actually sick.

So what I'm saying is, don't expect an exercise update for a while. Weight updates may happen, but only if I'm feeling good about my weight. Yes, I'm really that fickle.

What a Lovely Day

Hi All,

I hope you are all having a lovely day. We have had a little rain and today there are some clouds and some sunshine. Apart from that God gave us today to enjoy, so enjoy.

I have weighed today and I am 64.4kg which is up 400g. Now, in my house self inflicted wounds get no sympathy, so all this is self inflicted. We had a weekend away to the Coast and up there they have the most wonderful gelati shop. So wonderful that being there for part of 3 days we managed to fit in 3 trips to this wonderful shop. I am thankful that the shop isn't closer. To compensate for this I didn't walk any day. My weight was much higher when I got home so a natural drop is happening slowly.

This week will be back to normal so may the downwards resume.

Have a lovely week one and all, and I will check in again next week.

Celebration? LLL

Hi All,

I am today celebrating 12 months since the dog bite. I have survived all the complications, and best of all, God has been with me and had granted healing. Now what is better than that. The way my leg is now is probably how it will be and in the last 6 months I have come along way. Today I have spent a lot of the day on my feet and just now my leg is quite sore. It does tell me when to rest and I do try to.

Now for the point of this blog, today I weigh 64.0kg I do like round numbers. That is down 300g on last week. Not bad even if I say so. I have been walking daily and I have been doing 8 sets of steps except the day I forgot. I got into bed and remembered, and didn't get up to do it. I don't think it will happen today.

So I am happy with progress, but with parties this weekend next week will be a challenge and probably higher. My asthma is still gone. Yay.

Still Trying LLL

Hi All,

Another week has passed and I am still trying. I seemed to be stuck around the same numbers for about a month now. So today I have succeeded in changing. I today weigh 64.3kg which isn't much down but a little bit.

I have still be walking, but trying to go faster and for the last couple of days I have wondered if my faster walking is taking me over my weight loss area, so I slowed down to a swift walk and I am still doing 7 sets of stairs. So that seems to have helped, I do know that starting the stairs I probably built muscle so that if fine. Today is the first day of 8 sets, I am gradually going to build that up and see what I can get to. My leg has been sore still so I am pushing the boundaries.

The best of all news is that with my weight down from the starting point, I noticed that my lungs felt really clear. I do have asthma and had been taking a fair wack of meds. So for the last 10 days I haven't taken any preventive meds and I am fine. So that is the best thing for me to celebrate, I have been waiting to see if I could manage to stay off at this stage. So rejoice with me, I feel good and feel I can do more and of course the meds cost a wack so it will also help the hip pocket. I do pray that the improvement will continue.

At last I am on top of things again and may the improvement continue.

Exercise! Finally.... (ES)

6km / 67 minutes on the treadmill. Walking at a variable speed between 4.5kmh and 6kmh (mostly at 5.5kmh).

Feeling good because this is the first bit of deliberate exercise, other than a gentle walk outside every now and then, in about two months. I sweated and everything. Speaking of which... I think I'll go have a shower now.

Weigh in (Emily Sue)

Last week: 69kg
Today: 68.9kg
Difference: 100g loss
Running total: 8.1kg

I'm happy with 100g. I was... a tad hormonal... this week, and so had a couple of not-so-great eating days. Mostly I was on track though so 100g is a good loss in light of the caramel Mars Bars. :)

Exercise is still not really happening, although I'm having a housework day today and that counts as exercise, surely???

I'm back. (HJ)

So I'm back. Bad case of comfort eating and other things were in the way.

I'm now in the headspace to get back into the exercise and control the eating and I've discovered that the damage is only 500gms, but that doesn't take into accout the fact that I could have lost MORE had I kept going as I was.

Nevermind.

Let's see what happens

More of the same

Hi All,

As you see my weight is the same 64.6kg. I have been around this for about 3 weeks now, so l started looking at my diet and maybe too much ice cream has appeared. So I have cut that out again. I have also been doing steps so that should be building muscle and we all know those results.

We have seen a travel agent today and started getting things moving, so now I have to be fit in 3 months. So the weight isn't the immediate concern the fitness level is. So that is my new target. I could stay at this weight and be ok, but I do want to lose more. I feel better and this week I am trying to go off asthma meds and see what happens, so far so good.

So all you Skinny Cow Girls, lets hear from you and see what wonderful results you are getting. All that is except Giv. who has given us up for Lent.

Onwards and downwards.

Lent (GdeE)

Hi all,

I have a huge post written detailing many frustrations with food, exercise, weight loss, being in the average weight range but with wobbly bits that just aren't right, and my underlying complete satisfaction with who I am regardless of my weight or wobbly bits anyway.  It's all getting too much for me, so I have decided to take drastic action.

I am giving up Operation Skinny Cow for Lent.

See you after Easter.

Not even with a whimper (GdeE)

Table of Contents
1. A Huge Disappointment
2. A realisation
3. In which I realise I don't even need my mirror
4. Adios

Chapter One: A Huge Disappointment
Previous Weight: 66.5kg
Current Weight: 68.1kg
I have achieved this result by continuing my good eating and active lifestyle, coupled with now regular swims at the pool.  Congratulations me.

Chapter Two: A Realisation
I realised something the other day.  Three bits of information came into complete clarity for me, and now it all doesn't make sense.

Piece of Information #1
I am eating consistently quite well - keeping meals to pretty healthy standards and trying to snack on fruit and water.  Doesn't always work, but I'm doing quite well.  I am keeping up with some of my  hard-line rules I used late last year to rein in some areas of eating where I felt I was going a bit overboard.  I eat dip on a hardly-ever basis, and I am not drinking calories - no fizzy drinks, no cordial, no sugar in my tea (well okay some in my coffee but I ceased promising I'd go that far.)  I am active a lot of the day.  Sure, I don't get out and huff/puff/sweat, but my life doesn't support that sort of rubbish.  Again, we can't do everything perfectly.  In short, I am doing okay.  And my weight doesn't change and my regular pants don't get looser.  My loose pants were bought when I was pregnant.  My body quite likes being slightly pudgy.  Damn, but not major damn.

Piece of Information #2
Two friends of mine are getting married next month.  He eats a gluten-free diet, she has adopted a gluten-free diet for convenience.  And she's lost kilograms she didn't set out to lose.  Damn.

Piece of Information #3
My dear husband is on a milk-free diet.  He substitutes soy, but otherwise his diet is much the same as it used to be, which isn't perfect.  Since he has gone milk-free, he has been able to fit into pants he wasn't able to fit into before.  Damn.

Conclusion:
Despite believing that you have to cut out fat and sugar to lose weight, it seems that cutting out normal parts of the food pyramid is more effective.  Well, not really.  Cutting out food types that are notoriously difficult to digest, like gluten and lactose.  Emily Sue and I discussed this at length.  I hesitate to use the phrase "chewed the fat" for obvious reasons.

Anyway, just as I judge having a 100% hard-line diet is unsustainable and doing regular huffing/puffing/sweating exercise is unsustainable, I believe that managing a restricted diet while still feeding my children a normal diet is unsustainable in my current stage of life.

Damn.

Chapter Three: In which I realise I don't even need my mirror

Talking to Emily Sue tonight clarified a few things for me.  One is I really don't care much about food, weight, body shape and appearance outside of Skinny Cow.  I never have.  Yeah sure I would totally love to get a skinny tummy again and lose the tuckshop lady arms, but seriously, outside of Skinny Cow, I give it very little thought.  I just have to visit the issue with you girls because ... well, it's all about accountability and I haven't made gains so I feel the need to justify myself at every turn.  Exhausting.

I don't spend much time at all looking in a mirror, I don't really care how I look to other people and sometimes it shows, and I am simply so comfortable in my own frumpy skin that frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn.

I don't use makeup because I've always thought I look better without.  I don't use many hair products - just enough not to look like a total Bush Woman.  I don't buy many clothes, I don't have many updated or nice clothes, and I never look in a mirror after I put them on.  I just don't care.  I have always gained my worth through what God thinks of me and what I can do for God and his people, and I'm really happy with how I'm going in those areas.  I was raised by hard-working people from working and farming backgrounds who would have scoffed at anyone caring the slightest about their appearance beyond having no dirt behind their ears and having combed hair.  I took on that perspective and I haven't changed much as I've grown up.  I feel like saying to the world, "Take me as I am, because I don't really want to spend time talking about the cutest new little cardigan/ballet flats/shade of lipgloss with you."

A friend of mine recently said to me in a coffee shop, "But you do care, don't you?"  And the truth, which I didn't want to hurt her with was, "No.  I really don't.  I only talk about fashion, makeup, weight loss and style with you because you're really interested in it."

Tonight Emily Sue directed me to her site to watch this video.  We talked about it for a bit.

And that's when it really gelled for me. Emma Thompson, bless her heart, says "Imagine a world..." And I just shook my head in dumb wonder. That. Is. My. Life. I don't have to imagine. I have always lived in a world where I just go about my day.  Don't you all?

No primping in front of the mirror, no bothing about 'self-image' apart from my achievements and who I am in God.  Except, Emma, if I saw a zit on my face, I'd just say, "Huh" and walk away with no makeup involved.  But to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't see the zit in the first place.  Remember?  No mirror-time except for contact-lens-poking-in.

The only time that I really think about appearance is when I come here and get involved in OSC-type chat.  And that is when I am grudgingly honest and I admit that in an ideal world, I'd love to lose some kilos, which is technically true.  But that clearly isn't working within the framework of my life, so again: Damn, but I don't really mind all that much.

Chapter Four: Adios

So au revoir my cowgirls.  It's been fun riding with you.  I have been inspired by your weight losses and your exercise!  (As a side-note, I am swimming regularly now, which is exciting.  But I can't do more than that right now.)  I am off to keep on with the things I've been doing, some of those hard-line rules I started before Christmas which have been SO great, and holding myself pretty accountable in what I eat and don't eat, because a high level of accountability to self is what works for me.  But the big difference from now on will be I will be free to not care when I really don't.

Because frankly my dears, when it comes to weight loss that probably isn't going to happen, I just don't give a damn.

Weigh in (Emily Sue)

This is my first weigh in since starting on the My Fitness Pal website, so my 'last weight' is what I registered on there a week ago, not what I was last time I weighed here.

Last time: 70kg
Today: 69kg
Difference: 1kg loss
Running total (since starting Weight Watchers... I'm not starting again!): 8kg

Yay! I still haven't really started exercising but hopefully that will come in the next week.

Some People are never satisfied LLL

My frustration level reached blowing point in the last week. I seem to be giving excuses rather than losses. So in desperation I decided to check and see what my weight was before Xmas. To my sheer surprise I found that I have lost 2 kg in 2 months. Well the time I have been with you I was wishing that my steady 200g weekly could rise to 250, and that would be 1kg per month. Now I find that with all my excuses I have been achieving that goal and complaining.

Now for all of you who have had to sit and read my excuses, I offer my sincere apologies. I am really sorry for complaining and trying to excuse my eating blowouts.

Back to the point, if my weight wasn't the frustration point then what was? After some thought it occurred to me that I have spent some time pulling at the side seams of shirts that are too big. So I got to my clothes and threw out what was not alterable, there is no point keeping things that I am NOT going to wear again. Then I had a sewing bee and took in the side seams of 6 shirts, one of which I am wearing today and I feel so much better in it. In my cupboard I also found a couple of shirts that had been too small and now aren't. I also have 2 slacks suits for summer and one I could wear now, but it will be better in 2kgs time and the other will need at least 4 kg. I later saw a dress that I must try sometime.

Now I am feeling so much better, I am a new person. Also the cold I had has left and that helps.

I have weighed today and the numbers came up at 64.6kg, I think that is about the same. I did have a drop but I have now gone to my usual drop and bounce, and I have the bounce just now.

Add to all that we have decided on a holiday for the end of June and one place that I really want to visit is called the Werfen Ice Cave. Now that sounds nice, but the warnings that come with the info say that you must be fit, no heart problems no walking difficulties. They say you need to be able to walk up a multi story building. So now I have 3 months to get fit. So added to my walking and balance board I have started doing steps. The last few days I have done 5 sets per day. My leg is back to a level of soreness but it will get better. I AM visiting this cave.

So after this story, that is where I am.