A support and encouragement blog for those of us aiming towards skinny cow-ness... or at least aiming towards being a bit thinner and/or healthier.
What on earth is Operation Skinny Cow?
Operation Skinny Cow was born after a few of us in Blogland decided it might be nice to lose some weight and/or get a bit fitter. We decided it would be even nicer if we encouraged each other along the way.
If you want to be part of the fun and add your own posts to this blog then send an e-mail to Emily Sue at reachingforgreen@gmail.com and she'll set you up as an author.
6km / 67 minutes on the treadmill. Walking at a variable speed between 4.5kmh and 6kmh (mostly at 5.5kmh).
Feeling good because this is the first bit of deliberate exercise, other than a gentle walk outside every now and then, in about two months. I sweated and everything. Speaking of which... I think I'll go have a shower now.
Last week: 69kg
Today: 68.9kg Difference: 100g loss Running total: 8.1kg
I'm happy with 100g. I was... a tad hormonal... this week, and so had a couple of not-so-great eating days. Mostly I was on track though so 100g is a good loss in light of the caramel Mars Bars. :)
Exercise is still not really happening, although I'm having a housework day today and that counts as exercise, surely???
So I'm back. Bad case of comfort eating and other things were in the way.
I'm now in the headspace to get back into the exercise and control the eating and I've discovered that the damage is only 500gms, but that doesn't take into accout the fact that I could have lost MORE had I kept going as I was.
As you see my weight is the same 64.6kg. I have been around this for about 3 weeks now, so l started looking at my diet and maybe too much ice cream has appeared. So I have cut that out again. I have also been doing steps so that should be building muscle and we all know those results.
We have seen a travel agent today and started getting things moving, so now I have to be fit in 3 months. So the weight isn't the immediate concern the fitness level is. So that is my new target. I could stay at this weight and be ok, but I do want to lose more. I feel better and this week I am trying to go off asthma meds and see what happens, so far so good.
So all you Skinny Cow Girls, lets hear from you and see what wonderful results you are getting. All that is except Giv. who has given us up for Lent.
I have a huge post written detailing many frustrations with food, exercise, weight loss, being in the average weight range but with wobbly bits that just aren't right, and my underlying complete satisfaction with who I am regardless of my weight or wobbly bits anyway. It's all getting too much for me, so I have decided to take drastic action.
Table of Contents
1. A Huge Disappointment
2. A realisation
3. In which I realise I don't even need my mirror
4. Adios
Chapter One: A Huge Disappointment
Previous Weight: 66.5kg
Current Weight: 68.1kg
I have achieved this result by continuing my good eating and active lifestyle, coupled with now regular swims at the pool. Congratulations me.
Chapter Two: A Realisation
I realised something the other day. Three bits of information came into complete clarity for me, and now it all doesn't make sense.
Piece of Information #1
I am eating consistently quite well - keeping meals to pretty healthy standards and trying to snack on fruit and water. Doesn't always work, but I'm doing quite well. I am keeping up with some of my hard-line rules I used late last year to rein in some areas of eating where I felt I was going a bit overboard. I eat dip on a hardly-ever basis, and I am not drinking calories - no fizzy drinks, no cordial, no sugar in my tea (well okay some in my coffee but I ceased promising I'd go that far.) I am active a lot of the day. Sure, I don't get out and huff/puff/sweat, but my life doesn't support that sort of rubbish. Again, we can't do everything perfectly. In short, I am doing okay. And my weight doesn't change and my regular pants don't get looser. My loose pants were bought when I was pregnant. My body quite likes being slightly pudgy. Damn, but not major damn.
Piece of Information #2
Two friends of mine are getting married next month. He eats a gluten-free diet, she has adopted a gluten-free diet for convenience. And she's lost kilograms she didn't set out to lose. Damn.
Piece of Information #3
My dear husband is on a milk-free diet. He substitutes soy, but otherwise his diet is much the same as it used to be, which isn't perfect. Since he has gone milk-free, he has been able to fit into pants he wasn't able to fit into before. Damn.
Conclusion:
Despite believing that you have to cut out fat and sugar to lose weight, it seems that cutting out normal parts of the food pyramid is more effective. Well, not really. Cutting out food types that are notoriously difficult to digest, like gluten and lactose. Emily Sue and I discussed this at length. I hesitate to use the phrase "chewed the fat" for obvious reasons.
Anyway, just as I judge having a 100% hard-line diet is unsustainable and doing regular huffing/puffing/sweating exercise is unsustainable, I believe that managing a restricted diet while still feeding my children a normal diet is unsustainable in my current stage of life.
Damn.
Chapter Three: In which I realise I don't even need my mirror
Talking to Emily Sue tonight clarified a few things for me. One is I really don't care much about food, weight, body shape and appearance outside of Skinny Cow. I never have. Yeah sure I would totally love to get a skinny tummy again and lose the tuckshop lady arms, but seriously, outside of Skinny Cow, I give it very little thought. I just have to visit the issue with you girls because ... well, it's all about accountability and I haven't made gains so I feel the need to justify myself at every turn. Exhausting.
I don't spend much time at all looking in a mirror, I don't really care how I look to other people and sometimes it shows, and I am simply so comfortable in my own frumpy skin that frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn.
I don't use makeup because I've always thought I look better without. I don't use many hair products - just enough not to look like a total Bush Woman. I don't buy many clothes, I don't have many updated or nice clothes, and I never look in a mirror after I put them on. I just don't care. I have always gained my worth through what God thinks of me and what I can do for God and his people, and I'm really happy with how I'm going in those areas. I was raised by hard-working people from working and farming backgrounds who would have scoffed at anyone caring the slightest about their appearance beyond having no dirt behind their ears and having combed hair. I took on that perspective and I haven't changed much as I've grown up. I feel like saying to the world, "Take me as I am, because I don't really want to spend time talking about the cutest new little cardigan/ballet flats/shade of lipgloss with you."
A friend of mine recently said to me in a coffee shop, "But you do care, don't you?" And the truth, which I didn't want to hurt her with was, "No. I really don't. I only talk about fashion, makeup, weight loss and style with you because you're really interested in it."
Tonight Emily Sue directed me to her site to watch this video. We talked about it for a bit.
And that's when it really gelled for me. Emma Thompson, bless her heart, says "Imagine a world..." And I just shook my head in dumb wonder. That. Is. My. Life. I don't have to imagine. I have always lived in a world where I just go about my day. Don't you all?
No primping in front of the mirror, no bothing about 'self-image' apart from my achievements and who I am in God. Except, Emma, if I saw a zit on my face, I'd just say, "Huh" and walk away with no makeup involved. But to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't see the zit in the first place. Remember? No mirror-time except for contact-lens-poking-in.
The only time that I really think about appearance is when I come here and get involved in OSC-type chat. And that is when I am grudgingly honest and I admit that in an ideal world, I'd love to lose some kilos, which is technically true. But that clearly isn't working within the framework of my life, so again: Damn, but I don't really mind all that much.
Chapter Four: Adios
So au revoir my cowgirls. It's been fun riding with you. I have been inspired by your weight losses and your exercise! (As a side-note, I am swimming regularly now, which is exciting. But I can't do more than that right now.) I am off to keep on with the things I've been doing, some of those hard-line rules I started before Christmas which have been SO great, and holding myself pretty accountable in what I eat and don't eat, because a high level of accountability to self is what works for me. But the big difference from now on will be I will be free to not care when I really don't.
Because frankly my dears, when it comes to weight loss that probably isn't going to happen, I just don't give a damn.
This is my first weigh in since starting on the My Fitness Pal website, so my 'last weight' is what I registered on there a week ago, not what I was last time I weighed here.
Last time: 70kg
Today: 69kg Difference: 1kg loss Running total (since starting Weight Watchers... I'm not starting again!): 8kg
Yay! I still haven't really started exercising but hopefully that will come in the next week.
My frustration level reached blowing point in the last week. I seem to be giving excuses rather than losses. So in desperation I decided to check and see what my weight was before Xmas. To my sheer surprise I found that I have lost 2 kg in 2 months. Well the time I have been with you I was wishing that my steady 200g weekly could rise to 250, and that would be 1kg per month. Now I find that with all my excuses I have been achieving that goal and complaining.
Now for all of you who have had to sit and read my excuses, I offer my sincere apologies. I am really sorry for complaining and trying to excuse my eating blowouts.
Back to the point, if my weight wasn't the frustration point then what was? After some thought it occurred to me that I have spent some time pulling at the side seams of shirts that are too big. So I got to my clothes and threw out what was not alterable, there is no point keeping things that I am NOT going to wear again. Then I had a sewing bee and took in the side seams of 6 shirts, one of which I am wearing today and I feel so much better in it. In my cupboard I also found a couple of shirts that had been too small and now aren't. I also have 2 slacks suits for summer and one I could wear now, but it will be better in 2kgs time and the other will need at least 4 kg. I later saw a dress that I must try sometime.
Now I am feeling so much better, I am a new person. Also the cold I had has left and that helps.
I have weighed today and the numbers came up at 64.6kg, I think that is about the same. I did have a drop but I have now gone to my usual drop and bounce, and I have the bounce just now.
Add to all that we have decided on a holiday for the end of June and one place that I really want to visit is called the Werfen Ice Cave. Now that sounds nice, but the warnings that come with the info say that you must be fit, no heart problems no walking difficulties. They say you need to be able to walk up a multi story building. So now I have 3 months to get fit. So added to my walking and balance board I have started doing steps. The last few days I have done 5 sets per day. My leg is back to a level of soreness but it will get better. I AM visiting this cave.
I'm doing it again. You know, checking in once a year to apologise for being absent and assert my plans to stick around this time.
New plan / incentive: I'm in a competition with my best friend K and her mom, A. We each have a goal (mine is to lose 5 kilos, K is losing 5 and A is going for 7, but weighs more and thus should find it equally challenging).
The fun twist: The winner (the closest to goal on June 25th, or the first one to reach the goal before that) is paid $80 and $60 dollars by the people who come second and third, respectively.
This is cool, because going to Weight Watchers would cost more than that, but I think the incentive of having $140 dollars to spend in whatever I want is going to spur me on a little more than WW would. And we're going to support each other by exercising together occasionally, so it's friendly and spurry.
So, goal: lose 5 kilos, going from 74.5 to 69.5, the lowest weight I'll ever have been since I started weighing myself
Plan: - keep running (you heard me, running! I can actually do it now, albeit not as well as an actual runner friend would), playing sport, rockclimbing; - portion control, occasional treats, love food, concentrate on enjoying what I eat
Yea!
Oh, and to make up for not being present for a year, I'll be extra-present and include a picture of what I look like now.
I've had a good few days and I'm feeling a LOT better. I think the downward spiral has been halted... phew. I haven't got back to exercising yet, apart from a walk on the weekend, but the compulsive eating is under control, as is the desire to stay in bed all day, every day.
One thing that has helped is discovering this website called My Fitness Pal. It's basically a calorie tracking site where you can input your details and the amount of weight you want to lose and it will tell you how many calories to eat per day. Then throughout the day you can input food eaten and exercise done and it calculates how many calories you have left. It's an American site so many American food brands but any member can add new foods, so there are already loads of Australian food brands on there. There's also a phone app, which I'm using.
And the best part? It's 100% free.
As you know I've been doing Weight Watchers. I haven't been to meetings for a month but haven't cancelled my membership because I didn't want to lose access to the online tracking system, which I've found extremely helpful. Now that I've found this new site, however, I think I'll ditch WW and use the free site instead.
I know this won't be for everyone, but tracking really works for me. It gives me boundaries that help me not to binge but also help me not to starve myself - if it says I can eat 1300 calories per day I will eat at least 1250 calories. Left to my own devices I tend to swing between eating too much then eating not enough. Neither is helpful.
My starting weight on the site was 71kg. I think now that probably wasn't accurate, as in I was having a bloated day when I signed up, so I'll probably have a good, but incorrect, weight loss in the first week. I'm weighing in on Saturdays so stay tuned.
The title says it all, I am still coughing, I thought things were getting better, but on Tuesday my cold freshened up again. So I thought here we go again, back to headaches and coughs and runny nose etc. Well it didn't get too bad this time.
Then you add to that, my 2 sisters came last Friday, so I made a High Tea (with some help from friends) and of course ate it. That was really fun in the end it is worth trying some time. It was good to get out the good china etc. Then take away for Sunday lunch and again for Tuesday night. Of course I must add the frozen marshmallows that are just yummy.
So although my weight dropped some, I usually have a corresponding bounce and when I eat with the bounce the news is bad.
So let me just say the rise is a secret and I claim that weight was as at last week.
I feel as if I have been making excuses since Christmas when the rot set in, so this week I will try to be good and walk regularly and eat less of the naughties.
Any loss at all? Of course not. What were you expecting?
Wardrobe: Everything I own is in the wash, except for my pair of size 14 skinny jeans. I am therefore wearing them, enjoying the way they swim on my body and fall down a bit. Surely I am losing weight? No, apparently not. I am still 66.5ish kg whether I look like my clothes are swimming on me or I look like I'm trussed up like a Christmas ham.
How I look today: Weird, as I had a drastic haircut and my hair won't go right. It was Polygamous Sect Length with mandatory frizzing, and now it's layered at shoulder-length with similar frizzing. You'd think that I'd have lost a bit of weight with the haircut, but you'd be wrong.
How I feel today: Much more worried about my hair than about my weight.
What I think about weight loss today: It doesn't exist. I've been eating less, eating healthy and continue to be really active (pushing single and double strollers around, walking to and from work, generally pushing my body to do that little bit extra.) Nothing happens. So why are we here again?
I am still full of cold, I think it is getting less, but still coughing. I have been walking sort of, I know that seems strange, but a couple of days I was slow and didn't do the full 20min walk. Some days I still do nothing. Yesterday I set out and got up the street when it started raining. I turned behind me and there was quite a storm coming fast. Storms don't come from that direction, so on leaving home I had ignored it. I set out walking back and ended up running. Now does running burn any more fat cells? I don't know, but that was the end of exercise.
For some unknown reason, today my weight is down to 64.7 that is down .4 since last week. I am not complaining at all.
I have been told but haven't found anything to verify it, that when the fat is taken from cells the body fills the cells with water, to make it easier to refill them later. After a period when the fat is not returned the body removes the water. That makes sense to me as that would be when the weight drop happens. Does anyone know more of this? I did try google and spent a lot of time and no real info.
That is me for today keep plodding along all you skinny cows.
In fact not a lot of getting out of bed at all unless it's absolutely vital.
I have no idea what I weigh now. Not checking.
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I'm getting back on track slowly, but I'm not being particularly fanatical about it. My mental health is a higher priority. Having said that, putting on loads of weight probably wouldn't do my mental health much good either so I'm trying to be a BIT sensible. But just a bit. :) .
Wardrobe: After a blog post confessing to old jeans ripping open displaying my old undies, my Mother told me to go shopping for clothes. She offered to mind my children (which I accepted) and attempted to press $100 onto me, (which I didn't.) All I bought was underwear. Because I am, as I thought, an oddly-shaped 12E, spending a frightful amount of money at a posh shop is my only option. I was delighted to find that 14DD also does the job, and in fact, does it a little more comfortably. I found a splendid bra and bought three, and I also found that I still look ghastly in those darn mirrors with the fluoro lighting glaring down from directly above. I also found that if you spend a fair bit of money on briefs that promise to be very comfy due to the absence of leg elastic, they will spend their lives annoyingly wedged, due to the lack of leg elastic. Fail, Berlei Barely There.
How I look today: Pretty alright, have dressed for my shape and am rockin the look.
How I feel today: Fine, wondering if I really need to bother about this muffin top after all, mainly because I look okay today and have forgotten how horrible I looked in that change booth.
What I think about weight loss today: Look, I confess I don't believe in it again. I'm eating fairly healthy, I am unwilling to give up treats like a little chocolate, I'm active all day every day despite not being able to get out and do heartrate-raising exercise, I am getting good sleep and loving life, and nothing much ever happens on the scales.
And why am I even bothering about getting rid of this tummy anyway?
Oh that's right. Because of how I looked in that change booth. That's why.
This week has not been good. I had a tummy bug that was most unpleasant, and while still recovering from that started with a sore throat that developed into a really good cold. Mostly in the head but today down to my chest.
The first thing that didn't happen was walking, I went to bed instead. So the last few days have been sitting blowing my nose all day, and feeling hungry.
I did weigh yesterday, and didn't get around to posting, and my weight was the same as last week, fortunately for me.
Still feeling miserable, not at all energetic, and couldn't care less. That seems to sum things up for me.
My weight was playing around up and down. Well today is the real down. Just for a check I weighed today and found 65.1kg. That means that I have reached the 5kg mark and I am due for the first reward. I have decided that as my clothes don't fit, I will now make 2 t shirts that do fit and I will then have a little more that feels good.
So any time now (probably when this row of lace is finished) I give myself permission to sew 2 shirts, 1 green and 1 mauve. I have even decided on the styles. So all systems go.
I really feel this is an achievement. Onward and downward.
Wardrobe: Wouldn't mind going shopping for more pants that look okay around the muffin top and shirts that aren't too clingy but aren't too blousey at the same time. Both styles accentuate muffin top dreadfully. Have been breaking one of my cardinal wardrobe rules - Sleeveless Doesn't Flatter Me At All - and I've been looking okay (especially if I hold my arms out from my body a little.) Still a little leg-of-lamb-ish around the upper arms, but not too bad overall.
How I look today: Started off looking lumpy & dumpy in oversized 3/4 jeans with thick fabric and a blousy shirt that probably should have been in the maternity section in the shop. Changed to a more fitted 3/4 jeans in thinner fabric and a more fitted top. Transfigured my look.
How I feel today: Dumpy around the middle, okay elsewhere. Slightly shocked to catch sight of reflection in windows, because body image is slightly better than reality right now.
What I think about weight loss today: Plan to state weight in "hovering around XX.Xkg" since I am uncomfortable pinning my hopes on a 300g loss when I can wee that much, or becoming depressed at a 500g gain, because that's how much water I drink before breakfast in the morning. This way I can feel confident in a loss like the one I've seen over the last few weeks. I guess this all means that I tentatively believe in weight loss for the moment.
I forgot that today was weigh in. I did weigh, just forgot to record same. There has been something strange going on and for some unknown reason my weight went up by 1kg, but at the same time my waist measurement dropped. Go figure. The cullottes that I made for Christmas I have had to take in 4cm. Yesterday I just couldn't keep them comfortable. Yes, that was made in 2010, 5ish weeks ago.
However today I weigh 65.6 so that is a drop of .3 from 2 weeks ago. I can't explain what is going on, I just accept and see that only .5 to go to my first reward point. It will be interesting to see what will happen in the near future.
So I am happy with the drop and will keep walking. It seems to be working.
