I might not die (Givinya)

So in this conversation with this friend who said that anyone can lose weight, she also said something I thought was absurd.

She said that next year when Nat goes to school, I'll be able to walk him there and back. And because I will be pushing a double stroller, it would be excellent exercise up the hills there are in both directions.

I thought she was mad.

But she isn't. She is just a Mum who happens to run half-marathons, and has never experienced grinding sacro-iliac dysfunction pain upon walking down to the corner and back again.  Or occasional blacking out due to blood pressure medication.  Or Lazy Wretch Syndrome, which I seem to suffer from most of the time.

So I told my husband and he thought it was a great idea and went about proving that a man who has never given birth and who gets as much uninterrupted sleep as he pleases every night and who doesn't have to push his body through 12 hours of non-stop servanthood under the rule of some tyrannical dear sweet children can indeed do the walk.

But I started thinking.  He told me about a short-cut that eliminated the long grinding hill I was worried about.  And I did some calculations and worked out it is only about 1.2 km (unfortunately without any 'loading' for the hills) making it sound EASY.

Let me cut and paste from my blog entry today, telling you about my progress on this walk:

First Walk:  Nat was asleep one afternoon and I took Anna-Lucia and Joseph in the double stroller.  I walked down the hill, through the forest, down the next hill and across to the roundabout.  I could see the school from there, and found that immensely encouraging.  But the children were beginning to cry and I was concerned I wouldn't make it home if I bit off more than I could chew, so we turned around and came home.  Uuuuuup the hill!  I lived.  Great work, Me!

Second Walk:  We didn't go further, but it included more challenges.  Nat was with us and didn't want to ride his bike (a) down the hills, in case he went too fast and got out of control, or (b) up the hills because they were too steep.  So it was quite pointless him even having his bike, but he flatly refused to go without it.  Joseph wasn't dressed warmly enough and when the breeze turned into a wind, he got quite cold and grizzled a lot of the way home.  And Anna-Lucia saw Nat on his bike and moaned 75% of the way, "I neeed my biiike!"  Those words must have been said over a hundred times.  When I replied that it was a bad idea because she couldn't even push the pedals, she said, "You can push me with a broom!"

Then she demanded to get out and walk, tripped over the stroller wheels, scraped her knee and OH! the DRAMA!  A bleddercut on the knee!

And although she sat down and would not budge two houses from home and Nat decided he couldn't possibly push his bike up the last little bit, I did make it back, alive, with three children, one bike AND my dignity, which is an important factor in the longevity of this Mad Walking Idea.

Third Walk:  This morning I was awake early and once Joseph and Anna-Lucia were awake too, I decided to try the walk again, this time unencumbered by a 4-year-old and his bike.  I dressed the children warmly and took off.  This time we made it all the way to school and back.  Oh my!  The hills!  But I made it, I made it!  Alive!  It only took me 25 minutes (do remember that this is sans Nat).

I can do this.  We have five more weeks to practice before school starts.  By then, I hope to be pushing the double stroller up those hills a little easier, and I hope to have Nat a little more independent on his bike.

Weigh-In Wednesday (Femina)

Last week: 72.8kg
This week: 74.0kg

Uhh... right. Okay then. I'm a little baffled by this since I have spent the week eating well AND I used my treadmill three times, but there you go. Just one of those things, I guess, and I'm sure it will sort itself out next week (just in time for my Christmas blow-out). My weight tends to go up and down daily so monthly trends are more useful for me anyway... thus, I'm not concerned yet. If this happens every week then that will be a different story! :-)

Weigh-In Wednesday (Femina)

Last week: 72.8kg
This week: 72.8kg

Given the ups and downs of the past month, weight-wise (and emotionally, to be frank) I'm pretty happy with this. I'm also happy to be weighing in BEFORE today's Seniors' Christmas Lunch at work, where I get to be an honorary senior and eat lots of delicious food, and also BEFORE I go to have dinner with friends tonight. Yay, timing! Hehe.

Copy Copy Copy (Givinya)

Okay. Here goes:

Before pregnancy: I can't remember exactly, possibly 68 or 69 kg? I was getting lumpy and dumpy and I was not fitting into my jeans well.

During pregnancy: I did lose some fat from my upper body, and only went up to 74.4 kg.

After Joseph: 64.0 to 65.0 kg. Fitting into jeans better, but eating an enormous amount. Mostly healthy foods, but probably too many choc-chip biscuits.

Goal: 60.0 kg, unless I get there and decide that 58.0 or 59.0 would be healthier. (A BMI of 22 [58kg-60kg] has suited my frame better over the years and made me feel healthier than the current BMI=24. But hey wow - it's currently 24! That's supposed to be good! So why do I feel like a blancmange, and look so appallingly jubbly and rotund over the belly - and I'm not talking just baby stuff - there's too many muffins in my muffin top! I feel I shouldn't be complaining about BMI=24, but it's not suiting me one little bit!)

I was talking to a friend yesterday. The essence of my question for her was: at what point does a girl with a body shape like a barrel (thinnish arms, shoulders, neck, and from the knees down, but with an embarrassingly rotund middle) get some expert weight-loss help, e.g., from a Program?

Her reply contained the idea that anybody can lose weight - they just have to want to. She said she has known people who say they want to lose weight but they never do, and these were the people who never really wanted to.

Excuse me?

I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that.

I have never ever been able to control my weight. When I was having revolting panic attacks and unable to keep food down for weeks on end, there was nothing I could do to increase my weight. And now that I am shaped like a barrel, I have found that despite eating a healthy diet and swimming 0.5 km regularly (back when I was free to do so!) I am completely unable to decrease my weight.

My weight does its own thing. And at the heart of this not-checking-in-with-Skinny-Cow thing is my total lack of belief that trying to lose weight will be worth the time I spend on it.

Hence the choc-chip cookies.

Accountability-copying (Manda)

Good point, Fem.

Last post (months and months ago): 71.8
Last week: 71.6
This week: 71.6.

Is it a plateau...? or am I maintaining well?

Only time can judge...

Weigh-In Wednesday (Femina)

Okay, here's the thing... when I did Weight Watchers I weighed in every week. Some weeks I lost weight, some weeks I gained weight, some weeks I stayed the same. Whatever happened, the accountability of weighing in every week really helped me. I didn't even hang around for the meetings most of the time; I just paid $15 (I think) to weigh in and leave. An expensive way of doing it but it worked for me.

So, I've realised that's what I need to do. Weigh in here every week even if I've eaten nothing but chocolate for the past seven days... and even if I'm the only one doing this and the only one reading it. It's not about public humiliation; it's about being in a routine and being accountable.

Today's weight: 72.8kg
Last time: uhh... no idea. I forgot to check before starting this post.
Goal weight: 64kg

See you again in a week! :-)

wake up!

OK, so since I seem to be taking over this blog (hello, where'd everybody go?) I'd just like to report that according to my doctor, I have lost a whopping 21 cm from around my waist.

21 cm!

Yes, I did celebrate with a milestone purchase. Oh yes indeedy I did.

And, I just snuck under another '0' number.

Sweet.

I am so terribly sorry for going! (Givinya)

I am so sorry I've been MIA. Truth be told, while I am breastfeeding I am trying not to pig out but failing miserably and trying to pretend Skinny Cow doesn't exist. Or at least, trying to pretend I AM one.

About a month ago (like THAT counts) my post-baby weight was 65kg. Proving what I said - pregnancy agrees with me. That would leave only 5kg to my goal weight. Remember I started at 69ish, okay 70ish, okay once I got pregnant I was 71ish and headed on up to the high point which was 74.4.

And I swear I started feeling thinner except for the Growing Joseph Inside - losing fat from my upper body and possibly elsewhere, not that you'd notice with the Growing Joseph Inside.

Then the Growing Joseph Inside became the Growing Joseph Outside and once the metaphorical dust had settled, I found I was in fact 65ish.

Wow.

Now here's my problem. Breastfeeding makes me RAVENOUS and it doesn't take the weight off like they say. They lie.

Watch me head on up, unable to curb my desire to eat a double-sized portion of food each meal of the day.

Depressing. So depressing that I've been avoiding Skinny Cow, and so depressing I will backdate this post an hour so as not to bump Rhubarb's post from the top of the page because let's face it, she's putting in effort and getting huge results, and we all want to be encouraged by that! Go Rhubarb!

the shrinking of rhubarb

Today, I went shopping. Just a quick whip around to generic clothes shops for some T shirts and tops to wear about the place, since I am down to about 6 items of clothing suitable for public viewing.

I picked up everything in a size 'M'. It fits. Something went back for being too big. Even my DD cup bazookas went into an 'M' dress.

I am in awe.

I have a way (weigh?) to go... but it's getting there. Now my skin needs ironing.

Slightly less embarrassing (Femina)

As I think I've mentioned before, I meet with two friends to pray and chat every second Tuesday. This week we made an exercise pact for the next two weeks, each agreeing to what exercise we'd have done by the time we next meet. I agreed to use my treadmill 6 times (3 times each week), plus walk to my counselling session on Tuesday if it's not raining. It occurred to me today that if I don't start soon I'll be forced to have six sessions on the treadmill on the same day. Eeek! Not ideal. Not even possible, at my current level of blobbiness.

So, tonight I put an episode of Stargate SG-1 in the DVD player and hopped on the treadmill, determined to manage MORE than the embarrassing five minutes I managed last time.  Having the treadmill level this time made a difference... I managed 40 minutes, mostly at 5.5km/h. Oh yeah. I have jelly-legs but I'm feeling very smug too.

However... I'm not weighing myself yet. Or at least, not disclosing it yet.

Well, that was embarrassing (Femina)

You may recall that I recently cancelled my gym membership and bought a treadmill. The treadmill arrived a week ago and I've used it every single day... oh, okay then, I've used it once. This evening I came home and immediately changed into comfy gear and running shoes so I could use the treadmill. I popped a Frasier DVD in the player, thinking that one half-hour episode should be plenty.

Three minutes into walking I got off briefly to find my water bottle (yeah, I've sort of forgotten how this exercise thing works) then got back on. Five minutes later my heart rate was up and I was puffing. FIVE MINUTES. Well, I suppose that five minutes of running will do that... oh, but wait, I wasn't running. I was walking... 5.5kmh. That's a brisk walking pace but not extreme.

Five minutes. Huh.

Update:

Okay, to redeem myself slightly, I have just realised that my treadmill was set at the highest incline... so that was five minutes UPHILL.  Yeah, that makes it better...

Moooo-ving on down (rhubarb)

Today, I gave away 2 laundry baskets of jeans and another of t shirts. I threw away 4 bras.

A size down, my next goal is to get into the last of the clothes that are 'snug' that fit me 5 years ago. Almost there.

Motivate me!

So I'm obviously back to eating...

Well, it appears that the weight-loss benefits of having teeth removed are pretty short-lived once the mouth heals up enough to recommence eating.

This week I've put on 0.4 kg. It could be a temporary blip after a packet of Gaiety chocky bickkies over a couple of days and a good serve of corn chips last night. I have also continued the ice-cream because they had to take bone out to get the teeth, and I'm thinking that I need to keep my calcium intake up while it heals itself. We'll see for next week.

So I'm a good little cow-girl reminding all my friends that we all have bad weeks. And that doing some exercise is possibly a good idea.

Weigh-In Wednesday (Femina)

Whoa... last time I weighed in was THREE MONTHS AGO. Bad cowgirl!

Last time: 71.9
Today: 72.6
Difference: 700g gain

Of course that's not an entirely accurate picture since in the last three months my weight has gone up and down a fair bit. I got up to 74kg at one point, which was more than enough to make me take stock and reign in the munching a little bit!

In exercise news, I have cancelled my gym membership because I was hardly using it and I can't really afford it. Plus my reasons for going to the gym have changed - I joined initially when I was at the tail-end of several months of depression and exercise was more of a depression-management tool than anything else. And it was great for that. Now, however, my mental health is loads better and the gym just isn't doing it for me. Instead, I have just bought a treadmill (it's being delivered next Tuesday) and hopefully the fact that I don't have to go out to exercise - in fact can exercise in my PJs if I want - will help me to be more motivated.

The food is another matter. Hmmm...

Wisdom Teeth Weigh HOW MUCH??!!??

Well I didn't weigh-in last week because last week hardly existed in my little world, but I must say the scales this morning were encouraging:

Last time: 74 kg
This time: 72.6 kg
Loss of: 1.6 kg

Total loss: 3.4 kg
Way to go to goal (68kg): 4.6 kg

They must have been some pretty weighty teeth! I've been eating wrong food and not exercising. Maybe I should get another lot out and see if I can duplicate the results (or not).

Sabotage! (Givinya)

I sent Mister de Elba for three grocery items, then immediately smacked my head. He can't say No to his temptations (because he doesn't have to) and his temptations become my temptations because he brings them into my kitchen!

"He's going to come home with two blocks of chocolate," I said out loud. And he didn't. Good man.

"And a packet of corn chips," I continued. And he didn't. Awesome.

"And at least three packets of biscuits." And he brought home four.

My only defense against eating crap is not having it in the house. Then he brings it into the house. Doesn't he love me? Apparently he must love me so much that he wants more of me - much much more.

I got mad, but kept my cool as I said, "Honey, I'm going to need you to take every pack of biscuits to work - I can't have them in the house, I need you to help me not pack on the weight."

"Okay," he said.

So please explain why today there is a pack of Mint Slices in the fridge, a pack of Caramel Tim Tams in the cupboard, and the packs of Monte Carlos and Custard Creams were both emptied out into a giant biscuit tin and placed in our cupboard.

Mr de Elba is not taking my weight loss seriously. Maybe I should show how seriously I am taking it by throwing the whole lot in the bin.

Manda

I am also back. Thanks, girls! Last week, on the morning of the day I came across your recommittments, I stood on the scales and thought, 'I wonder when I'll go back on skinny cow?' A mark of how long I've been MIA is the fact that I loaded the blog page and stared at it, wondering, 'how do I sign in again?'

My plans have changed a little over the last month or so. I continue to aim to lose weight, but I am equally concerned now with developing good eating habits.

(Are you rolling your eyes? Stop that! Let me expand on it a bit first).

My biggest goal remains to break the hold food has in my head. This doesn't simply mean gluttony - it refers to the way I idolise food, waiting for the next morsel, daydreaming about dinner, an so on.

My housemate is obsessed with a book about Intuitive Eating. The thoery is, your body craves things it needs (or at least it will, once you start listening to it). So eating what you crave when you crave it - and not eating more than what will satisfy you - teaches you to eat the way your body needs you to. I'm not 100% sold on the theory, but it's not a bad idea: eating only what you need to eat, knowing that if you're hungry, you can get more later... satisfying cravings by having a little, rather than defying them by eating lots of other foods you don't crave.

So now, I'm eating when I'm hungry, and I'm eating the things I'm hungry for. Sounds simple, right? Well, in all my previous food habits (eat all you can and don't care about the consequences / eat exactly what will fit into the Weight Watchers plan and never anything else / eat mostly what will fit into the plan but be a tiny bit more relaxed) this has never occurred to me!

Weight: 71:8

Goal: 70

Weight to goal: 1.8 kilos

Time to get to goal: as long as I want! As long as I'm eating good food that I want to eat, I'm not too fussed about the timing.

Count me in, too (Femina)

Well, what now? I guess this is the bit where I make excuses about where I've been and what I've been doing, and make sensible food-and-exercise plans. As it happens I have no real plans at the moment but I need to get back on track, wherever that track might be, so publicly declaring my re-allegiance (is that a word?) to Skinny Cow is where I'm starting. Step one - check.

So... I'm back! Yay! I have had some messy things going on over the past three months and chocolate has been my friend. As has bacon. And the occasional hash brown. Mmm, and sausages sometimes too. Ooh, and hot chocolate. Turns out my mother was right... some friends only pretend to be your friend but really they are bad news. Sigh. I now weigh more than at my last OSC weigh-in but still less than when this whole thing started so I suppose that's a good thing.

My goal for this week is to plan meals, shop and cook. I have plenty of junk food in my house but nothing that would make a nutritious meal so that's my first step. I recently bought a meal planner notebook so I'm going to start utilising that. I am generally pretty good at the meal planning thing so that might be a good kick-start for me. (Yeah - here's hoping.)

Exercise goals will come next week. One step at a time for reluctant little cowgirls. :)

I'm back, Cowgirls (Givinya)

Inspired by Hippomanic Jen's recent post, I too am back at Skinny Cow.

Three weeks ago, I lost something huge, like 7kg or maybe more. This is how:

Giving birth to one stinkin' cute baby boy. Joseph Samuel is his name, and he accounted for 3.105 kg of the extra 14kg above my goal weight. See? Not all my fault.

Losing weight while flat on back

And the night after my caesarean as I lay helplessly flat on my back, I lost another 6kg or more. I have never lost so much weight so quickly while doing so little. How? you ask. I peed. And peed. And I peed and I peed and I peed and I peed and I peed and I peed and I peed. Well, I had a catheter in, so I didn't know I was peeing, much less how MUCH I was peeing until a midwife came for a chat and said upon leaving, "I'd better empty your bag - it looks like it's going to burst."

My bag? Oh yes, the catheter thing. Going to burst? Well, I had been very thirsty since the caesar, no - since falling pregnant late last year. And admittedly I'd had a lot to drink that afternoon in between feeding little Joseph. But also, I assume I'd retained fluid I hadn't noticed in my tissues, and it was all a-comin' out.

She emptied the bag into what looked like a two-litre jug, then emptied the jug. She emptied the bag again into the same jug, and emptied the jug again. Then she emptied the bag a third tine into this jug, not quite full this time, but lemme tell you, this wasn't the only bag-emptying-into-jug thing they did for me over that 20 hours.

I think I must have lost at least 6 litres in fluid, hence 6kg. While lying flat on my back.

And I've lost other bits and pieces of weight over the last 3 weeks, then gained it back with the incessant drinking you do when you're breastfeeding. And the breastfeeding itself - let's just say that parts of me are definitely making up some of the extra weight that's still on me.

ANYWAY.

Return to Skinny Cow

Here I am, back at Skinny Cow. And weight-wise, it's an interesting time of life for me - twice before I have seen that I crave the most amazing amounts of food when I am feeding a baby, and the promise that "the weight will fall off you when you're breastfeeding" turns out to be no more than a FABLE for me.

So now, the rubber hits the road.

What will I eat when it's 2pm and I am craving 4 chocolate biscuits, 7 marshmallows, 1 whole chocolate cake and a drink of hot Milo with sugar?

Will a banana and an apple REALLY cut it?

Plan of Attack

Current plan of attack: I don't want to keep any/much bad food in the house. And I want to eat leftovers instead of junk when I'm craving, as they will be filling and healthy.

Good luck, me.

Undutiful Porker returns to Skinny Cow again

So it was a really good idea to get back on the wagon.

It's a pity that I didn't, really.

However, I have been paying a bit more attention to healthy eating and I've rowed a couple of times during the last few weeks. And I thought about going for some walks with the Little Black Dog.

The exercise was mostly spurred on after my pre-admission phone call from a nurse asking questions about my health issues and any medication that I'm on. When asked about my level of fitness I did confess to being at the bottom end of the fitness range. She needed more information:

Her: "Do you walk for half an hour each day?"

Me: "Well, that's my aim, but I haven't been meeting it for the last few weeks."

Her: "If you walk up four flights of stairs would you be breathless?"

Me: "Is there anyone who wouldn't be breathless walking up four flights of stairs?"

Her (somewhat impatiently): "Yes!"

And although I didn't challenge it at the time, I'm certain that even when I was at my fittest (during high school when I rode my bike for 5 km to school and back about 4 times a week) I would have been breathless if I tried to walk up four flights of stairs.

Even when I was at college and walked everywhere and did indeed have four flights of stairs to climb to get to my room I was breathless at the top of them.

However, at least the hospital know how out of condition I am. You would have thought that they could have worked that out when I confessed to my height and weight!

I work best from a position of strength. I'm 1.4 kilos down since my last weigh-in. Or maybe exactly the same weight, but I took best two of three attempts.

So I rowed this morning and feel all good.

I had a balanced breaky that include fruit and milk and toast and I feel all good.

Then I finished off the packet of cheese Twisties that lured me yesterday at the supermarket.

I have to work on my just-say-no control mechanism.

Onwards and downwards.